Note: These are all things I happily explained to myself, because in four-eight year old Kate world, the explanations made sense. These are all 100% true. I don’t think I was a dumb little kid, so much as I didn’t really pay attention to anything going on around me.
1. I thought death row was a tv show. I heard people talk about someone “on death row” in like third grade and assumed it was something cool I wasn’t allowed to watch.
2. I thought that when people died in movies, they died in real life. I remember wondering how a person decides it’s their time to do a movie where they die, because it’d be their last one.
3. When I discovered the idea of home invasion, I told myself that mom and dad must have had a secret security system installed that I didn’t know about. They wouldn’t be so irresponsible as to leave our house as a potential target for intruders.
4. This was a little later on, but on 9/11 when they first said “terrorist attack”, I thought they said “tourist attack” and assumed it was a strange prank.
5. I believed my friend, Desiree was a spy, and that she could make me a spy too.
6. I thought my 3rd grade teacher hated me for no reason. Now I’m pretty sure she thought I was racist. I didn’t know racism was a thing in the 3rd grade.
7. My gym teacher carried me to the gym after I got hit with a ball or something, and I was sure we were in love. It was good because Desiree liked him too, and I wanted to beat her.
8. I suspected Kim was a vampire who was going to eat me in my sleep because she snored so loud as a baby.
I wish I could think of more, but I have to go write my English paper now.
Update: Because I thought of another one. Remember that song, Bad Boys, by Inner Circle? As in “bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?” Yeah. When I was little I thought that’s what the “bad boys” sang to the people they were going to hurt. I was terrified that they were going to come for me.